Wednesday afternoon, Seth said he was in the mood to make something; he wanted to *bake* something yummy. When I mentioned the frozen pie crust we still had in the freezer, he said, "PIE! PIE!" OK - Apple? No... Peach? No. Custard? Mmmaybe.... Chocolate cream pie? YES! That was it! That was *just* what he was in the mood to make. So, I found a recipe, using what we had on hand (cocoa, not chocolate bars), and we set to work.
The recipe called for three egg yolks. I separated one egg, then he wanted to do the other two. Now - where was my head that this is what made me get all nervous and wanting-to-be controlling? My kids have cooked eggs since they could stand on a stand at the stove. When they were really little, it was a great way to explore the egginess of eggs - break a bunch, feel how slimy they feel, watch how the yolk could 'break'. I could breeze right through that, no problems. Eggy mess? We'll just wipe it up, no big deal. But Wednesday, Wednesday for some reason, there I was, eagle-eying the whole egg-separating process, having to STOP myself from saying, "Wait! You have to *be careful*!" Or... what? You might break a yolk and we'll have to open another egg? Uhhh.... so? But I was SO... jumpy! So, finally, I stepped back, and asked myself, "Self? What is going on with these eggs?" Turns out, because money's been tight lately, there was that voice in my head, the one that goes, "Mustn't waste! Mustn't waste!" Guess what, voice? It's not waste if we're learning, enjoying being together - without stress - just BEing with each other. It's not waste. We might break an egg. And I know myself enough to know that I wouldn't save the broken egg to use or cook later, I just wouldn't. But - will we starve if we go through an egg or two? Or six? No. We won't starve. We might want eggs later in the week, and they won't be there. Then again, if we really wanted eggs, I'm sure my neighbors would share theirs. Or, I could call a friend to see if she could buy me some eggs. We might be able to scrape up change around the house, enough to buy some eggs. But I bet we'll be OK without. Got that, voice? No starvation, no need to panic. No need to take out YOUR stuff on this amazing child. So. Step back. Breathe. Reassess. Stress averted! In less than the time it took Seth to separate all the eggs we needed. Peace is found, heart is opened.
And the pie? Oh, my. The pie.
Look how proud! That's worth a few