10/31/2007

Art *Every* Day?

Aaaahhhhh!! Leah just posted a list of everyone participating in Art Every Day Month... and my name is on there! I know I had written to her to tell her I'd be doing it, but I didn't have a blog at that point... I figured, no link, no list - but there I am!

I was *just* thinking about it this morning, and I'm excited to take on the challenge, but I didn't want it (the art or my commitment) to be public just yet. But there I am!

It makes me very happy! And nervous. One day, I'll send her the link to my blog. lol

10/30/2007

early morning drumming

What a great way to wake up -- drumming! At the NC Women's Conference. I was cranky because I missed the bus, and kept trying to find the better feeling. Was finally successful once I was walking around downtown with my djembe - I guess people like smiling at people with djembes, 'cause I sure got a lot of big smiles! Improved my mood dramatically.

I kept being worried because I wasn't *early* and I was going to be *late*. My schooled self is still SO concerned about what people think of me. Not whether or not I'd be inconveniencing anyone by being late, but whether or not people would still like me. Oy. Funny, funny, Caren. *I* like you - doesn't that count for anything?

So good to drum with friends I haven't drummed with in a while.

10/29/2007

Let My Love Open the Door

For months, now - years? - I've occasionally woken up with a song singing itself insistently in my head. This isn't the usual song-on-my-mind thing; these songs practically SHOUT themselves at me. Now, this song - this song has shown up time and time again. Usually when I've forgotten the good and hopeful things about life, and I've closed in upon myself to stay safe and comfortable. And every time, I think "Oh, OK - I can be loved. I can let your love open the door to my heart." And I'll feel a little more open-hearted, a little more vulnerable, available and present. Then I'll forget. And life will go on, and I'll be there, in the middle of my life, then that early-morning shout will happen again. Hello? Remember me?

I have the only key to your heart
I can stop you falling apart
Try today, you'll find this way
Come on and give me a chance to say
Let my love open the door
It's all I'm living for
Release yourself from misery
There's only one thing gonna set you free
That's my love

So, last night, I went to see Dan in Real Life, and yes, it's cliched, and yes, it's predictable and unrealistic -- but,ohhhh, it was SO good, and sweet, and funny, and it has STEVE CARELL and he's so funny and vulnerable, and I cried and cried. Especially, when Dane Cook sings a song to his new girlfriend, whom Steve Carell has fallen for, and it's... Let My Love Open the Door. It was *perfect*. Perfect.

Can I ever hear this song without crying?