You should try it if you haven't. Really! Drumming, I mean. You don't really need the acid, I've found.
So, fast forward a few years. More than a few... I hadn't even seen drums in that time. Didn't seek them out - I didn't think I could *do* it, then I just forgot. When Evan was young, I belonged to La Leche League, and a playgroup that sprang up from that. A couple of the moms in the playgroup had drums, and would play them every so often. I never dared to hit them! I remember one retreat, where they talked me into it... I tentatively hit the drum, then BAM! A big noise. And I handed the drum right back! I'm an introvert! I can't have all that attention on me!
Fast forward a few more years... A friend invited me to a women's drum circle, that took place at the UU Church. There weren't *quite* enough instruments for everyone, which was fine with me. I was OK with listening... until the leader said, You're a part of the circle. We need to hear your voice! And I was coaxed into playing a drum, a frame drum that you hit with a soft mallet. And I did it! And no one laughed. And I was again transformed, woken up.
But because there was, of course, still a voice telling me I couldn't do it; I wouldn't do it right; I might mess up, I didn't seek out a drum for myself. I didn't follow that prompting.
I talked about the drum circle at a support group I went to... about a year later, my husband, who had been at that meeting before he was my husband, bought a drum for me, a djembe, which is what I had played on the mountain, and had seen at Dead shows. A drum you hit with your hand. He *heard* me, saw how it moved me, and remembered. I haven't looked back. I sought out a drum circle. The woman that had led that women's drum circle wasn't doing those any more, but she was learning West African drumming, and it was a group that was open to anyone. I went to that group, and my heart was opened. They were very supportive of new folks, very understanding, and I learned. And learned. And grew.
I had drummed with them for about six years when my heart was opened even further, and my soul was again set on fire. It happened at a drumming class. My life hasn't been the same since. And I can't wait to tell you about it... in my next entry.
(Sorry - I want to go to church today. I need to shower, walk the dog,