HACK, cough, cough. Sniff.

So - one cold, icy day, there was a funeral. As the pallbearers were headed from the church to the hearse, one of them slipped, accidentally dropping the handle he held and banging into the guy in front of him, causing him to fall, and everyone to drop the casket. The steps were so icy, the casket slid right down them into the street, down the hill, gaining speed all the way. It stopped at the bottom, feet-first, right in the doorway of a drugstore - the door was too narrow for the casket to fit through, and it hit the door with such force, that it stood up on end and the cover banged open. The pharmacist was so shocked at seeing a corpse standing in his doorway, he said the first thing that came to mind: "C-C-Can I help you?"

The corpse said, "Yeah, you got anything to stop this coffin?"