I wrote this in an e-mail to Christine Kane the other day:
"Recently I decided to stop seeing everything I was doing as wrong or unhealthy - and instead, fully accept myself where I am. Seems obvious now that I'm writing it, but it has made the *biggest* difference!
An example is that lately, I haven't been wanting to connect as much with people. I stopped going to my drumming group (of traditional West African drumming), and I'm just not getting out as much. At first, I was observing that, and thought "Oh, no! I'm isolating! Must force myself to get out!" Then I stopped, and asked, "What if this is OK? What if, this is what my gut is telling me to do, and I can do it, and not think there's something wrong with me?" So I did. And it's been great. I have more energy, I'm doing more creative things. I started a blog (which is still too young to share!). [I've since made the decision to link it to my blogger ID. Yikes!]
I *like* this not thinking there's something wrong with me all the time! It's so funny, too, 'cause I always recommend Cheri Huber's There's Nothing Wrong With You to people. I think I read that, and it *did* bring more self-acceptance, but in my mind, I must have been thinking "There's nothing wrong with you... except all those parts that are sick and damaged. THOSE are wrong." Now, I've decided... there's nothing sick or damaged. It's all just who I am. And if I was meant to be anyone else, I would be."
It has been so freeing to not have to worry about my "wrong" parts. Not that I don't need to live with awareness, and compassion, and knowledge that my actions affect others. But it hasn't been helpful to only accept those parts of me that I didn't think were wrong. "There's nothing wrong with you... except everything that's wrong with you." Nope. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you, either.