March Forth

I was thinking last night of my experience with Art Every Day Month, and how much I enjoyed exploring, creating art every day for the month of November. Giving myself freedom to make mistakes, freedom to create... and without that framework of creating and posting every day, I haven't so much as picked up a brush.

I recently read an article about shifting your vibration to manifest, and it spoke *so* clearly to me - it was essentially saying the same things I've read over and over, but the way Steve put it made it so much more REAL for me. It helped me see LOA in a different way, that it's about making changes on a deeper level - and those changes start with the choices I make every day.

Then, today, I read another good article about how, when you're changing, it's possible you're not going to be comfy and excited. If you're changing, plenty of times you'll be cranky and discomfitted and unsure. Another much-needed reminder.

AND just now, I went to check out Soulemama's blog for my daily dose of peace and creativity - and babies!, she had posted a link to the video below:



Even when I'm feeling a bit stuck, even when I'm secretly thinking I'll never change, my circumstances won't change, I'm going to be struggling forever, and I'll never bloom into what I could be... tendrils of possibility weave their way into my life, reminding me it's all feasible. A life more free, doing what I really want to be doing, having more time for the boys and more resources to travel and do what we wish - we can do it. It can happen. The shift will come, a bit at a time.

I know it starts with appreciating what we have, with loving this moment, NOW. So, just to fill up my inbox from the universe, Amy Steinberg linked to this card, here: Gratitude Garden (do it!) and it reminded me that what we love grows. What I focus on will multiply, filling this moment and creating seeds for the next.

Deep breath. February's over. Spring is on the way: new growth, new life. Meltwater rushing from the frozen lake can move even the most stubborn of boulders, creating rich earth for green shoots to take root.

I can feel it, just a tiny bit - can you?

Meet My Two New Best Friends (plus: winners!)

My blender:


And my green smoothie:


Ahhh... green smoothies. A little bit of sunshine on a grey February day. I realize that for some of you, that doesn't look very appetizing. Should have wiped off the edge of the glass. Just trust me on this one: Once you try a few, you'll recognize the green goodness of these concoctions.

Earlier this year, I did a raw food trial - I ate only raw food for ten days. I? Loved it. Loved. it. I felt light and free and energetic. Me! Energetic! The most energy I've had recently is when I ran from the couch to get the Trader Joe's Candy Cane Joe Joes from the kitchen and back.

I first heard about eating a raw diet from an interview on NPR, with the authors of the cookbook Raw. I thought it sounded interesting, but I didn't think it would be for me. Last year, I kept getting hints that I needed to improve my diet. I made a soul collage card, and all the pictures I picked and put on my card were of raw fruit; I didn't consciously do that, I just grabbed the pics I loved, and that's how it ended up.

Reading about Steve Pavlina's raw trial and subsequent way of eating was intriguing, but again - nah, not for me. Well, maybe. OK, maybe I'll add in a little more raw food each day.

I started thinking seriously about it this fall. I heard that eating a raw diet increases your intuition, and that was a big motivator. I knew something had to change. I was thinking this coming Spring, when the farmer's market opened, I'd start. THEN, my Dad got me a Target gift card for Christmas. As soon as it was in my hands, I wanted to get a blender. Forget about the trash can we need in the office, and new measuring cups (mine got melted!), or clothes. I was picturing a blender.

So off to Target I went. Target is right beside Trader Joe's here, so after I got my blender, I walked over to Trader Joe's and loaded up on organic bananas, pears, kiwi, pineapple, spinach, clementines, kale, sugar snap peas, and broccoli, before I even knew I was doing it! It was like I was on auto-pilot. OK! Raw trial starts tomorrow! That's cool.

The blender I got is 700 watts - pretty powerful for a department-store blender. Lots of people who eat a raw diet use either Blendtec or the Vita-Mix, but my Target Michael Graves blender was under $40, and it does a GREAT job.

So I did it. It was EASY. I didn't miss anything. I wasn't craving anything. I would eat three or four clementines at a time, loving every bite. HUGE salads, of iceberg (love the crunch!), spinach, apples, avocado, lemon juice. And - green smoothies. How I love thee, green smoothie!

Here's an example of one recipe:


All the ingredients are laid out - 1/4 of a pineapple, juice of one lemon, one whole kiwi (peeled), 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/4 lb. spinach. (all organic) (Thank you, Trader Joe's!)

I add the liquid first. You can use just water, too, or fresh orange juice - anything, really! Rum, maybe?



I use a celery stick to unstick the fruit from the side of the blender - then I don't need to worry about the blade accidentally nicking some plastic something. I can then throw the celery stick in at the end, or just it eat. After the initial unsticking, everything usually blends smoothly.


Yummm, kiwi.



I didn't get a shot of the blueberries going in, but that's why it's pink/purple! I put the spinach in one handful at a time, lots and lots of spinach.


Blend, blend, blend. The blender I got has a "smoothie" setting, and it really gets everything all mixed in.



Yum. Yum. This smoothie was tart, 'cause of the pineapple and lemon juice. Really tasty.

The simplest smoothie I've made is 2 - 3 bananas, 1/4 lb. spinach, and water to blend easily. That smoothie is prettier, it comes out a bright green color, without the blueberry bits in there. AND - it tastes like just the bananas! I've put in HUGE handfuls of spinach, and it still tastes like the fruit. Another recipe, with no pictures:

1/4 pineapple
2 kiwi
juice of one lemon
couple chunks fresh ginger
5 strawberries
2 whole kumquats, de-seeded
~ 1/4 lb. spinach (several big handfuls)
several leaves kale
water to blend smoothly (~ 1/2 cup)

Now THAT one's very refreshing. You get little bits of kumquat rind. Obviously, I'm not eating locally. When the organic farmer's market opens weekly this Spring, I'll incorporate more local produce. We do have one open every other week through the Winter, but that's hard to get to with no car, and I'm hopelessly bad at asking for rides.

I'm not eating a raw diet right now, but I still start every day with a green smoothie - it's like a vitamin/mineral shot at the beginning of my day. Highly recommend it.

Annnnd, we need winners, don't we?

All right, writing down names and pulling from a hat, we have:

Winner of the book - tysdaddy!!

Winner of the feelgood list - hahamommy!! (Otherwise known as Diana -this is the second thing she's won on my blog!)

Congratulations!

It's February. And I Want You to Feel Good.

Oh, February. It looks like I'm in the clutches of this month again.

There is part of me that knows it's part of a natural rhythm, the lowered energy levels, the looking within more. And then there's part of me that just wants to feel *better* NOW. In February, I feel down a little more, I'm a little more vulnerable to negative thoughts and feelings.

It used to be SO much worse, I used to barely be functional when I was depressed. A huge - HUGE - gift of unschooling, especially radical unschooling, has been that I've learned to aim for joy. Keep my compass aimed for joy. I've (we've) created a life that I love, and what a gift that is, to wake up each day grateful for what we have. By keeping the relationship with my sons primary in my life, I've been guided to a life that's fulfilling and amazing. In doing that, I dropped the depression. I needed some help with the shift - I took an antidepressant for about a year, just about five years ago. Since then, true depression hasn't happened. I've had my down times, just one really bad one spell that lasted a couple of weeks, but I haven't dropped off that abyss again. I am so freakin' grateful for that.

I also credit drumming, meditation, prayer, and reiki for that shift. And, of course, my boys.

I have learned through the years to accept February for what it is. I have learned some coping things, that I wrote about last year. To that list, I'd add: dance, often, as wildly and silly as you want. What a mood-shifter!

This year, on a friend's blog, I found another tool to use. It's a list, a reminder list, of things I love to do, that can shift how I feel. Here's her list:


How lovely is that? She has more lovely things, in her etsy store. I'm eyeing those printable Valentines! I ordered my list - you can customize your list with what helps you, and she'll design it up and send the pdf so you can print out as many as you want. I haven't yet filled mine out, though - I'm thinking of what I really want to have on there. Bake with Seth. Watch videos on YouTube with Evan. Draw with both boys. Draw alone. Take a walk with the boys and the dog.

I have so many possibilities! And I've decided that because the list is so pleasing to look at, I'm going to frame one copy and put it on my wall. It makes me happy just to look at it.

And it would make me happy, to help make you happy! To that end, I'm having a double give-away! First, I'm giving away a list for you! The winner will get an e-mail with details on how to get their very own customizable feel-good list. And, I'm giving away a copy of The River Why, which I wrote about last year. What a great book. I'm feeling all excited just thinking of you receiving either one of these!

All you gotta do is leave a comment, and in your comment, let me know what you do to help yourself feel better. How do you shift your mood? Does it include chocolate? Or do you just burrow under the covers for a while? I'll draw two names from the list of everyone that comments; one will receive the feel-good list, and one will receive the book.

Good luck! I feel better already!

I Can See! I Can See! Now Maybe I Can Dress Myself.

After five years of not buying contact lenses, because to spend the money seemed frivolous, I finally treated myself yesterday - AND I got new glasses, because my prescription had changed quite a bit.

It feels really, really good to be able to see again. I also found an Aveda training salon, where I can get a nice cut for not much money.

Here's the before & after:







I have eyes! I feel so much more open when I wear contacts, like I'm hiding behind my glasses. Maybe I am.

It felt odd but good to spend money on myself, for what I consider "outside" stuff. It always blows me away on What Not to Wear when they give the participants $5,000 to spend on clothes. Five THOUSAND dollars! On clothes! My mom is from Maine, and I feel so at home when I visit my family there - you're not expected to spend a whole lot on clothes, they're just supposed to do their job! And I've pretty much always held that view of clothing. I'm seeing now why you don't want to wear worn-out clothes out in public, but it seems SO wasteful to throw out perfectly good things because of a tear or two. I have a sweater that has a small burn mark on the arm - the underside of the forearm - and I've been wearing it that way for probably the last year or so. It just dawned on me last time I started to put it on that maybe, just maybe, I ought not wear it. But it's a perfectly good sweater! It keeps me warm!! It goes against my grain to throw it out. I can hear my mother now: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." That's probably part of her post-depression-era/WWII upbringing, as well as the practicality of Down Easters. Isn't it better for the environment to not consume, consume, consume?

I have learned it does make a difference if what you're wearing looks good. I don't have very many things that I think look nice on me, but when I wear them, I do feel differently about myself. And that really, really bugs me! It seems so... superficial.

This is an area I'm just gaining awareness in - I need guidelines. So: no stains, rips, or tears (or burns, apparently). That much I can do. And, yeah, I'm just learning that. I feel torn!

OK - funny story about the burn: At church, we have candles at the front that folks can light for joys, concerns, prayers, etc. There are two circular stands, each with about 25 candles on it. I went up & lit a candle one morning, and when I got back to my seat, I crossed my arms, and OUCH! My hand got burned just a bit. Apparently, when I reached across the candles to light mine, my sleeve caught fire. And I didn't notice. There weren't flames, it was barely smoldering. I rubbed it out with my hand, and soon after, the lady beside me started sniffing: "Do you smell smoke?" Of course, I just sniffed, too! "Hmm - I think I do!" I was cracking up inside. If it had gone on any more than that, I would have come clean, but that was the extent of it.

So not only does my sweater keep me warm, still, it has a story attached! I told a friend this story, and she said, "Caren, you deserve to wear clothes that don't have burn marks." I don't really know what to make of that. Deserve? What does that mean? I know it's all tied in with self-esteem, values, etc. It seems like too much to think about, most of the time.

Maybe I'll just stay in my jammies. My sister did get me a pair of these for my birthday! And I feel silly telling you how much I love them... but I do.

At least I know enough not to go out in public in them.

Between the Two of Us, We Made a Couch Potato

Seth and I were playing "Everything, Everything, Everything" the other afternoon when we had a few minutes to kill before we caught the bus. It's like "Rock, Paper, Scissors" only you can say, well - everything. Anything. When we first started playing a few years ago, someone would usually choose something very destructive - nuclear bomb, etc. We've been playing for a while now, so it's become a more subtle and refined contest. If it's not immediately obvious who wins - like "steamroller vs. corn chip", you have to argue why your choice would win.

In one of the rounds, we had "ant vs. velociraptor", and Seth convincingly argued why the ant would be the victor - it's so small, it could just squeeze between the velociraptor's toes and drive him crazy. Wait - do velociraptors even have toes? Hmmm - I might have been duped, there.

It's really fun, too, to see the hand symbols we come up with for our chosen thing.

Anyway, our final round: fists poised, smacking into our open palms: "Everything, everything, everything, shoot!" I made a small rectangle with my middle fingers and thumbs, Seth pretended to eat.

"What's yours?"

"A very addictive TV show."

"How ironic. Mine is Cheetos."

We called it a draw.

I Always Wondered What Anchors Did During Breaks

This made my day.

Dancing News Anchors - watch more funny videos

More of the story here. Thanks to Josh for linking to it on his blog!

I gave up watching the news years ago, when it became less news and more panic and marketing. I stopped reading newspapers when the news about Abu Ghraib with those horrible pictures broke about 5 years ago - I had just separated from my husband, and it was hard enough to get through my days. I do miss the local paper at times, but it is not worth the negativity and distorted exaggeration to get to the worthwhile stuff. Steve Pavlina has a thought-provoking article about the news, and what he calls news addiction.

I've often wondered what news anchors thought about their jobs, especially the ones that have been around since before "infotainment". I really enjoyed watching these two, and I wonder if they see what they're doing as a way to disperse the stress of what they do. I also wonder if they're just shallow mouths, and don't think or care about what they're doing at all.

A really great source for online news? Good News Network. What a great way to start the day!

Snow Day! errrr... Snow Few Hours!!

9 am yesterday:






9 am today - which looks much like 3 pm yesterday, except for the angle of the sun:



The brevity makes it all that much more exciting. And for me, who hates to be wet and cold, it's an extra incentive to get out there and enjoy every minute with Seth. Hmmm... may be something to look at, there....

I tried to wake Evan, and he actually sat up in bed, with his eyes open, and said, "I'd rather sleep. I don't want to go out in the snow." Then, when he got up and saw that the snow was gone, cried, "Why didn't you wake me up?! I missed it!!" He completely didn't remember me waking him. I tucked that away, and I'll make sure to pull him out of bed in the event of snow next time.