What I Offer

In some past posts, I have alluded to starting a website - I'm working on that, and in the meantime I thought I'd write out here what I'll be offering on the site. If you're interested in any of these, drop me a line, or pay by clicking the "donate" button on the right over there, and indicate which you're getting in the paypal note.

Intuitive Readings

Do you ever feel a little stuck on an issue, like maybe there's an aspect you're not seeing? Have you sought clarity with something going on with you or in your life, and just weren't able to find it? I can help! I have the ability to connect and intuitively sense those underlying concerns, bringing them to your attention. I can offer insight after a short conversation with you that will help you bring a solution to fruition, or bring peace to a confused area.

This is NOT a psychic reading, I don't usually see the future for my clients. I have clairsentience and strong intuition, and I'll use those to help you! Blocks to your growth will be more visible, helping you to release them, and BE in this moment more clearly, allowing you to move forward in a beneficial direction.

A reading lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour, and costs $45. I will call you, and if you're outside the US, we can use Skype. Let me know if you have any questions!

I'm also offering a package deal, 3 readings for $115. You can use these yourself, spread out over time, or give a reading as a gift to a friend!

I have some testimonials, just a couple for now (I'm putting a bunch on the site):

I would not hesitate to refer people looking for a reading to you ~ Paul P

You picked up on details, and helped me find the answer I was looking for! Your insights are amazing, and very helpful. ~ Cindy K



Happily, because I finally, finally have the use of a car:

Drum Circles

I have been facilitating drum circles for several years. It brings me SUCH joy to reach and connect with people in this way. Drumming in community is SO powerful. If you haven't experienced it, I highly, highly recommend it. My specialty (every time I write that, I hear Wallace from Wallace & Gromit, saying, "It's our spec-i-al-i-ty.") is healing or intentional drum circles. I teach the basics of hand drumming if anyone needs that, we drum for a bit, then I lead a guided meditation. I rarely go in with a meditation in mind; usually, I just say what I'm seeing when I start, and go from there. After the meditation, we drum some more to send that centered healing energy out - or in, depending on need! It is always, every single time, a magical experience, and I am always, every single time, surprised and pleased by what happens. I have never led two circles that were the same. These circles are some of the best things I've ever experienced - and I get to make them happen! How cool is that?!

I am also very, very good at getting people drumming who have never drummed before, especially people who might be just a *teensy* bit scared.

I have done healing circles in the community, for women's groups, for spiritual gatherings, and for companies that wanted to offer wellness options to their employees. Drumming is proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, strengthen the immune system, reduce burnout, and a host of other health benefits has been observed.

I have also led circles as a team-building exercise, for corporations or other groups - especially youth groups. I can, through the drum circle, emphasize and bring out any theme your gathering might have. I have opened and closed conferences with drum circles - it brings a group together in a unique, memorable way, and if it's the conference opener, speakers and presenters will start with reduced stress and greater mental clarity.

Pricing on drum circles varies, depending on how many participants, how long you want the circle to last, if I'll be drumming several times through the event, etc. Just send me an email, and let's talk about it! Right now, I'm prepared to offer circles within 50 miles of Charlotte, NC. I'm willing to travel farther, but a travel expense would need to be added to my fee.

I could write a whole lot more about drumming, but I'll stop here. Contact me with any questions!

Reiki

I am a certified reiki master. If you're not familiar with it, reiki is healing energy channeled through me to you, or whomever I'm working with. I was initially skeptical when I first heard about it, but was moved to take a class, and I loved it so much, I continued on to become a reiki master. I've had such incredible experiences with reiki! The word reiki is from two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."

I channel this energy, and it flows to my client, being drawn to places of imbalance or low energy. I intuitively know where to place my hands. The feeling of receiving reiki varies from person to person and session to session, but over all, it is a refreshing, gentle radiance, restoring wellbeing and peace. It works on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Reiki can unblock and heal past hurts and wounds. I don't know of a single imbalance or situation that reiki cannot help. It is good, positive energy. You do not have to hold specific beliefs for reiki to work for you.

It lowers stress, and leaves you feeling centered and confident.

The work I've done with reiki informs my intuitive readings, and flows through my drum circles.

I can give you reiki in a session in my office here in Charlotte, or I can give distance reiki, at a time we'll agree on.

A reiki session lasts anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes, sometimes up to an hour.

The cost of an in-person reiki session is also $45, and can be combined in a 3-session package for $115. For distance reiki, the cost is $35 per session, or $95 for three. Again, feel free to save those sessions for yourself, or give someone the incredible gift of receiving reiki.

So - those are the things I'll be offering on my site, and I'm very happy to be able to offer them now!

Namasté, Veruca Salt

Sooo.... I've been working with a life coach, to help me reach some goals that I've had for a long time, but wasn't consistently working on. The few times we've met have been *amazing* and very, very helpful.

I can FEEL a shift in my energy. I'm waking up early now without setting an alarm, ready to start my day. I don't have as much patience for just sitting. I've always laughed when people have said, "I just can't sit still if I have things I can do!" I have never, ever, in all of my 43 years been that way. People have said, "I just can't relax!" and I completely could not relate. I have described myself as "Type Z". I have never had difficulty relaxing. But, suddenly - or, maybe not so suddenly (note the 43 years, above) - I am impatient if I know I have something I could be doing.

In terms of kundalini and chakras, a blockage has been cleared, and more energy is flowing freely.

I got in touch with a part of myself a few years ago, when I was actively looking at my history of cleaning, or not cleaning, which has long been an issue for me. I did an exercise from Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life, which I won't go into here, but had the result of me coming to realize that one reason I didn't clean, was because there was a part of me that really, really liked the idea of people being shocked when they came into my home. I am a peaceful person, and I usually bring calming energy where I go, so there was a part of me that really loved the idea, that people that had that view of me would come into my very messy home, and they'd be like, "YOU? Live here? In this chaos?!" I called this part my inner teen - very rebellious when controlled, full of fire and sometimes anger, strongly desiring to bring about change. I did some writing, and told my inner teen that I'd really like a clean house, that it's easier on us as a family if we can find things when we need them, that things would flow better in general if our space was clear. AND, we could create a very shocking piece of art that would go right on the wall, visible right when people walked in the door. So the same effect would be there, but our home would be clean.

A note about inner teen - This is also the part of me that, at one point, was wailing, "But when is it going to be MY turn? When can I be the asshole parent? People always said when I was a grownup, I could treat my kids the way I wanted, and it would be my turn! But you're here with your peaceful parenting, and listening, and honoring! I WANT MY TURN!" This part of me was resentful, and angry, that my kids weren't going to be subjected to the amount of control I had been subjected to. It took a lot of writing and working through that, to make peace with it. I think a lot of people want their turn at being the asshole parent, and that's where a lot of unschooling families can get hung up, if they don't do the work to look at that and let it go.

SO. There's my life coaching going on, and me having more energy, and working on a website for my intuitive readings, and drum circles. And my inner teen. Going, "I'm going to have this doughnut for breakfast! AND coffee! And you can't stop me! I don't care if it brings you down later, stops that energy. I want it NOW!" I talked about this with Laura, my life coach. I told her about Meredith, an unschooling parent whose son came to live with her after he had been to school, living with his birth mom, being controlled and judged and punished. He was angry, and was making some hurtful choices. At first, she tried to push her value of peace on him - then she realized she needed to meet him where he was, honor everything about him. They did things like buy him panes of glass to break, so he wouldn't feel the need to break windows. They asked, "What is it about breaking these windows that you need?" and they found a way for him to do that, without destroying others' property. I met Ray at an unschooling gathering, and he is an amazing, exciting, happy-to-be-alive unschooling teen. I have loved being privy to their journey, through Meredith's postings on unschooling lists.

Knowing them, and their story, is helping me with this part of my journey. Doing the work to get in touch with my inner teen is helping me with this part of my journey. Unschooling is life is unschooling.

When I told Laura about Meredith, and about my inner teen, she suggested I find a way to allow my inner teen to be of service to the bigger picture for my life. How can we take the passion, and anger, and fuel these changes I'm making - while honoring that part of me? I had set aside a few hours today, when I was going to get in touch, do some writing and exploring, and listening. Before I started that, though, I logged on to facebook, to say "hello" and see what my friends are up to today. Another friend named Laura had changed her profile picture to Veruca Salt, and she posted, saying, "my inner Veruca". I immediately heard Veruca in Willy Wonka's factory, face red, yelling, "But I want it NOW!", so I commented with that. Laura replied, "She is a powerful creator."

Wait. Huh? Oh! She is! She IS a powerful creator! And with that, I'm beginning to see how I can channel that destructive energy... I want my website NOW! And I want it to look like I want it to look!! But instead of looking to Daddy or outside myself to make that happen, I'm stoking my own engine with her fire.

I'm still going to write, and make sure I'm hearing my inner teen well, and meeting her needs, like Meredith has done. But, ah, the gift of Veruca, so unexpected, an image SO clear, it can't help but inspire me. She's not a bad egg, she just needed someone to help her channel that amazing energy, and desire.

I am loving how all these different aspects of my life come together, and how radical unschooling has fed me like no other change I've made in my life, how it teaches me to be present and listen, and honor. Not just my two sons, or other kids, but parts of myself, too, so I can grow up - at 43 - with a strong sense of centeredness, and groundedness, and self, and support.

And I love how when I set a goal and am determined to meet it, everything flows together to help that happen, even facebook.

Gassho ~

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Screen capture of a moment that happens only once a century: 12:34:56 7/8/09

I posted this on facebook, but Seth, who LOVED seeing this, asked me to put it here, too.

It was kinda cool.

*Who* Needs to Get Fixed?

So, yesterday, we were supposed to get Chip neutered.

We have a free clinic here, if you don't have any other options, you can go there & get your pets spayed or neutered. They will also give a free rabies shot.

I had asked Evan's dad if he could give us a ride out there. He said he had to work, and I asked if he'd be willing to wake up a little earlier and take care of it beforehand. He said, "I'll have to see." He has a really hard time saying yes or no directly -- especially "no". I should have, at that point, called another friend to see if they'd be willing to wake up early on a Saturday and give us a ride. I asked him because I *knew* he was working, knew he'd be up fairly early anyway, and I could use his truck later, while he was working, to pick up the kitty.

That was a couple weeks ago, then this Thursday we basically repeated the conversation. I meant to call him Friday to bully my way into getting him to do it - not nice, I know, but I can see that's what I would have been doing. I totally spaced it! Forgot to call, until around 10:30 Friday night. I knew he'd be asleep, but left a message anyway, then got really, really stressed about the appointment.

If you miss the appoinment without at least 24-hours notice, they won't reschedule. They're very busy, and don't have time to deal with flakes. Chip is 8 months old, he's just about at the age where he'll start to spray if we don't get him fixed, plus I hope to have it done before testosterone floods his system; he'll be calmer and less likely to pick fights and wander. Of course, I don't want to add to the feral kitty population here, either.

I couldn't think of anyone else I could call that late at night, and ask them to get up at 6:30 to take us to the clinic. I decided to set my alarm, wake up early, and call him. He didn't answer. I left a message, waited a while, called again, no answer. It's hard for me to admit this, but I was kinda freakin' out at this point. I *need* to get Chip fixed, and I didn't want to miss this appointment! Finally, Ben answered, but there was no way, at that point, that he could take us and make it to work on time.

I was PISSED. At him, and at myself. Especially him, at that time. He knew I wanted him to take us there! He could have called on Friday, even if I forgot! He doesn't know what it's like to live with no car, dependent on other people! WHY couldn't he just say NO, right away, if he didn't want to do it? I was on spin cycle, big time. A big, mad, snotty spin cycle, because I started crying when I realized we weren't going to make it.

I was so angry with him! I actually posted as my facebook status that I was frustrated and angry at someone else's thoughtlessness!

WHAT?! It's like, somehow, there I was, mad at HIM! For no good reason! I had a lot of shoulds in my head - He should be here for us! He should want to help us! His truck's just going to be sitting in that stupid parking lot, all day!

I was also looking inside - what is this about? Why am I having a hard time finding acceptance here? It came to me: I felt powerless. I felt completely powerless in that situation. I wasn't, in actuality - I could have made other arrangements. I could have made sure to save up cab fare. Actually, I could probably rent a car for the day for what cab fare would cost, there and back. I made the choice to be dependent on someone who wasn't always dependable, whom I knew wasn't always dependable, AND who had never, ever said, "Yes, I'll take you", but whom I was going to push into taking me.

I vented in an angry e-mail to a friend, but still didn't feel much better. I left a sobby message on the clinic's voicemail (how embarrassing!), letting them know I wouldn't be there. I sent a much more composed e-mail later, asking if there would be any way to reschedule.

A couple hours later, Evan came running in to the livingroom: "Oh, no! Last night, I forgot about skipping Chip's food, and I fed the kitties!" He feeds them at night before he goes to bed, and I had reminded him not to feed them Friday night, that we'd feed Peanut Butter in the morning, but Chip couldn't eat because of his surgery. I also intended to pick up the kitties' bowl as a reminder, and had forgotten that, too.

I looked up - "Well, that worked out, because your Dad wasn't actually available to take us."

Oh.

If we had taken him in, there's a chance he would have gotten sick, and aspirated some of his vomit, and possibly gotten very, very sick, or died.

My anger dissipated. Not all of it - it's hard to look at the choices I made with any kindness towards myself - but my anger toward the situation as a whole did. My anger toward his Dad did.

It all worked out perfectly. If the clinic can't reschedule, we'll find other options for Chipper.

I'll look at the choices I made and, I hope, grow and change a bit.

There's a Zen story in which a man is enjoying himself on a river at dusk. He sees another boat coming down the river toward him. At first it seems so nice to him that someone else is also enjoying the river on a nice summer evening.

Then he realizes that the boat is coming right toward him, faster and faster. He begins to get upset and starts to yell, "Hey, hey watch out! For Pete's sake, turn aside!" But the boat just comes faster and faster, right toward him.

By this time he's standing up in his boat, screaming and shaking his fist, and then the boat smashes right into him. He sees that it's an empty boat.



This is the classic story of our whole life situation. There are a lot of empty boats out there. We're always screaming and shaking our fists at them. Instead, we could let them stop our minds. Even if they only stop our mind for one point one second, we can rest in that little gap. When the story line starts, we can do the tonglen practice of exchanging ourselves for others. In this way everything we meet has the potential to help us cultivate compassion and reconnect with the spacious, open quality of our minds.

~ Pema Chodron, in "Comfortable With Uncertainty"

Unschooling Meme

Picture by Pam Laricchia from the article Unschooling Passions

There's a list of questions going around facebook now, it started as questions for homeschoolers but they were very school-at-homey, with things like "What do your children wear to school?" or "Favorite subject?" or this weird one, "Sports, music, or art?". I weep for the homeschooled child who has to choose! Someone changed the questions around to better suit unschoolers. You can see the questions on Ronnie's blog. I chose to do just one question, question 5.

Here's my answer.

What kinds of ways do your family members learn about stuff these days?

I don't even think about learning any more. It's not something I can quantify, or say how it's happening for anyone other than me - and quite frequently, I can't for me, either. It's organic. It's in bits & pieces so small we don't notice.

It's in this or that conversation, chance meeting, or something we come across on google. I can say, "I want to learn the lyrics to I'm Yours" so I google that, but who can say what I learn along the way? I learn how sing365.com lays out and organizes their search function, I learn that lyricsmania has a bunch of pop-ups, I learn how to block pop-ups. I learn something from every visual image I come across - wow, that lime shade of green on that site looks really good with that blue. I learn Jason Mraz sings barefoot - or did at least once. I learn his drummer hits the drum differently than most people I've seen. Along the way, I'm seeing ads, links to other videos, etc. I can't tell you what I learned because it happens so quickly it doesn't make a conscious impression. Apparently, Land o' Lakes has a new half & half they're very proud of. I learned that.

I got this years ago, when, on a walk with Evan and the dog, Evan started talking about the origins of the universe, and different theories about it, and his thoughts about it all. I know he's never checked out a book from the library on the origins of the universe. He may have read a magazine article about it, but at that time, we mostly had Utne Reader, XBox, and Game Informer in the house. He may have seen something on Discovery or Nature or PBS or History, but I know we had never sat down together to watch anything like that - it's something I'd want to see! What I realized happened is that he had picked up a piece here, a piece there, probably not even consciously. All those pieces got put together in the joyous amount of free time he has to dream and ponder and BE, until he had this cohesive collection, and wanted to share it with me. He couldn't have told you where he learned it. Or when. I doubt he would have said that he had learned it. It wasn't a conscious thing.

That's what unschoolers mean when we say learning happens all the time. It doesn't mean at the end of the day we can list and quantify and sort out everything that was learned, neatly into school subjects. It means it happens like breathing, you can't stop it from happening. You can't tell when it's happening, because learning truly isn't separate from living.

That's one thing that helped me let go of controlling television - I saw in Evan's drawings how he used shading to create a mood, or changed his characters' eyes to show how they were feeling. He learned that through living with real people who interacted with him, but also through TV. Even if he hadn't been interested in drawing, I could see I could not tell what he was learning from watching. I wasn't able to get inside his brain, and even if we talked about it, he wouldn't have been able to tell me everything. The play of one character off another. The colors of the sets. How dialogue was working - or not working - to sound natural. Lots of people find farts funny.

We learn through all five senses, frequently the sixth, and through connection with each other. We learn from books, from magazines, from movies and TV and You Tube Poop. We learn from Barbies, from guns and swords and Bionicles and Legos. We learn through talking, through watching and asking, or waiting. We learn through cooking, shopping, eating, eliminating. We learn from driving or riding the bus or walking or biking. We learn by listening to music, or playing an instrument or singing or banging a rhythm on the table. We learn through living, whatever life looks like that day, whether it's a trip to Discovery Place and the library or a day of not getting off the couch because we're so hooked by David Tennant as Dr. Who we watch all the episodes on the XBox.

There are as many ways to learn as there are... people. Multiplied by infinite ways to learn. Learning's not an event, it's in every moment.

So I can't answer that question. The answer's too big for my blog.

Sharing His Sole

Years ago, when I first got married, my husband would get SO frustrated with finding Evan's shoes in the doorway. He would say, "Why can't he take them off somewhere besides right where he knows we'll be walking?" or "Can he not pick them up and put them somewhere else?" Even though that was before we started radically unschooling, it didn't get to me at all. It was just something Evan did - I didn't take it personally or anything. I would just move them (when I remembered) before my husband got home.

Those shoes in the doorway have become such a loving symbol to me - every time they're there, I think, "Evan wants me to think of him," so I do, and I smile, and send love. I am so grateful to have him as my son; he has taught me so much, this boy who made me a Mama. I would not have started the parenting path I did had he not been so sweet and kind. If he had been a "typical boy" (what does that mean?), it's possible I would have put him in school and he would do OK, and we'd have the regular arguments about homework and time on the computer and video games... and shoes in the doorway.

As it is, his spirit was so great and he was so amazing (and still is!), I knew he needed to be nurtured at home, not forced to become someone he's not in order to fit in. His needs were the inspiration for me to grow, to question conventional parenting, and the impetus for us to make this amazing life.

A recent post on Always Learning made me smile:

You ed: (this was written to the list, but Pam Sorooshian in particular) wrote:

Stop thinking about changing "for good and not just for days or moments." That is just another thing to overwhelm you and you don't need that!

Just change the next interaction you have with the kids.

Stop reading email right now and do something "preventative" - something that helps build your relationship with them. Fix them a little tray of cheese and crackers and take it to them, wherever they are, unasked. Sit down on the floor and play with them. If nothing else, just go and give each of them a little hug and a kiss and say, "I was just thinking about how much I love you."

Okay - so that is one good, positive interaction.


Here's the link:

http://www.sandradodd.com/peace/becoming.html

That thing about the cheese and crackers really jumped out at me then, whenever it was (years ago, I'm thinking) that I first read it. The simplicity of it, the love and tenderness in the gesture. Such an ordinary thing, fixing a plate of cheese and crackers, and yet--and yet--

"Take it to them, wherever they are, unasked." Anticipating a possible need, showing love with action, not making a big deal or grand gesture out of it. It's an active kind of love that is thinking about the other person and putting yourself in his shoes and imagining what would make that person feel happy and loved.

I don't know why that post gobsmacked me the way it did the first time I read it, but it made me examine the best relationships in my life and appreciate the magnitude of the little things people did for me, like the way my husband always keeps our Brita water dispenser filled up. I don't even notice it & could easily take it for granted. I'm the one home all day drinking the water, but I bet I haven't refilled that thing more than five times in five years--probably times he was out of town. He keeps it filled up because he loves me. There are things like that I do for him, and for each of my kids, some things I was doing even before I read that post and started really thinking about how much love there can be in a simple quiet act like bringing a plate of snacks to someone playing a video game. Ever since I read the post, I think of it all the time, looking at my children, thinking, What kind of cheese and crackers could I bring them right now? It's figurative--"cheese and crackers" has become my mental code for looking for nice little things to do for my kids. Or sometimes if I catch myself starting to be cross or distracted, I'll think: "where's the cheese and crackers?" It's a memory-trigger for me, a reminder to be present and nice.

So now, when I see Evan's shoes in the doorway, I think of something kind I can do for him, then I go do that thing. His shoes won't be there forever! He's already 16. His shoes provide me with an opportunity to open my heart a little bit, spread a little bit of love & caring.

I am one blessed Mama.

Baseball Cap Koan - part 1

At the prompting of Patti Digh (and life, and timing, and the universe), I'm doing one thing every day for 37 Days, and sharing that journey here. You can read about what I'm doing in this post.



I got this hat several years ago - well, on the back is the date; it's almost exactly 5 years ago - at a wedding reception where I was bartending. It was at a country club here, one of Charlotte's oldest, home to Charlotte's "old money" and the Charlotte elite. I was working for a temp foodservice agency; basically, I was a "cater waiter" and I'd go wherever the agency needed me to. There were aspects of the job I loved - meeting all kinds of people, getting to go to all types of events, even if I was working. I enjoy bartending, too, and was good at it. I don't think I'd be so good at it now, what with all the new flavored specialty liquors out there. Watermelon-tini? What? But it was enjoyable, and I had lots of flexibility.

That business goes through phases, though, and there are times of the year when work is basically nonexistant. It surprises me, now, when I look back, at how little money I was making, and it was never consistent.

I kept this cap because I experienced something at that wedding that I wanted to make peace with. I was in a particularly struggly time, there had been very little work, I was behind on ALL of my bills, most pressing was the rent. I was so stressed out.

Anyway - I got this assignment, and was really glad, because it was a lot of hours, and sometimes at weddings, I might get tipped. People think bartenders always get tipped - not so for temps, especially in country clubs. A tip gets included on the final bill, but that tip gets divvied up among the permanent employees of the club who had worked the event; I'd never see a dime of it, even though frequently the temps were the ones doing the sh** work, the hauling and dumping and cleaning. But there was a chance! Sometimes out-of-town relatives who don't know any better will slip a tip in. We could not put up tip jars, we'd get fired if we did.

So, we got everything set up, and it was just hitting me, the contrast between the people who were celebrating, and my financial situation. Knowing that what they spent on one pair of shoes could have paid my rent for at least one month, those kinds of thoughts. Not helpful, really, but there I was. Running through numbers in my head - hmmm... club members have yearly dues, monthly minimums, for the wedding there was the cost of the space, the cost of the food, the staff, the band.

I was feeling resentful. I was feeling indignant. What good is it? I thought. If these people weren't spending their money on this stuff, they could donate it somewhere where it could really make a difference! I was judgmental, my friends, very judgmental.

I have to add, this was after I had called our housing authority here to see if I could get put on their waiting list for housing assistance. My plans to watch children after my husband and I had split did not work out, and I was living on very little income each month. I had no doubt I would qualify for help. I picked up the phone, made that call - and got laughed at. Literally, laughed at. I found out the waiting list was at least 3 years long, and they weren't taking any more names for it. I made the call in desperation, and was scared about what I was going to do.

I was not in a good place.

So there I was, at the wedding reception, watching the bride and groom hold each others' shoe up to answer cute questions, listening to toasts and the clink of silverware on crystal to make them kiss. The family was going to have a formal reception, with 250 people and dinner and drinks for 3 hours, then they were going to open it up for a more informal reception for 500, with passed hors d'oeuvres and open bars. While we were clearing tables and restocking our bars for the after-dinner party, the groom's mom came in with all these boxes. She'd had these caps made, and wanted to give them out to all of the guests, and could we help with that? Very nice baseball caps, with custom embroidery, the bride's & groom's name and the date on the back, how sweet. My stomach turned over.

What?! 500 baseball caps? And these were not people I could see wearing baseball caps, either. She said it was kind of a joke, because her son loved to fish so much. She was giving away 500 baseball caps... as a kind of a joke.

My head was spinning. Numbers were racing again - at a conservative estimate of $4 per cap, that was $2,000. Two. Thousand dollars. Rent for over three months. For a joke.

I HATED those caps. Hated them. I couldn't believe it. At the end of the evening, when she saw that lots of people were leaving their caps behind, she said all of the employees could each have one. My, how generous, lady.

I was pissed. Even more so, when I got home and looked up the brand of cap, and found out they were closer to $8 each. So - $4,000. For a joke.

I couldn't believe it.

to be continued